Sunday, March 4, 2012

Taking Back My House

I believe it all started when we lived with my mother-in-law.  We lived in a small room that we shared with a large chest freezer, but I was always thankful because our room at least had a window.  We had a few things with us, but most of our household was in a storage locker.  It started there, and add any other co-habitation arrangements, hotel rooms, and a van.  I felt safe in one room situations and since have made my bedroom my house.  Everything else in the house was space I had to go through, in my mind, not part of my house, my sanctuary, my safe hold.  This is ridiculous.  So over the past few weeks I have slowly been working my way up to taking back my house, and it was finalized over this past week, when I moved everything that didn't need to be in my bedroom out into the living room and kitchen.  I love it!!  It was such a great weight lifted, the weight being me wanting to pile all my feelings, hurt, pain on myself like blankets to protect me from the rest of the world, the idiotic, cruel, small minded world.  Small steps, but great ones!

Friday, January 27, 2012

Dream

My dream:  Two men were being mean to a very heavy set girl who was auditioning for a musical.  I was sitting on the ground, there was snow, and I yelled out to these two to come fight me.  They were walking a circle around me, I had a brick or something heavy in my hand which is in my lap, and then a third man to my right is standing behind a table with a cover on it, starts throwing things at me, not real heavy, but he was throwing things at me and I'm screaming at my husband to whoop his ass and he wouldn't.  So I laid dude out on the table and started bashing in his face, yelling at my husband, "Like this.".  The other two guys took off.  Now in dream moods it says that a fight represents one aspect of myself fighting another aspect of myself or it could be talking about some struggle in waking life, either way I'm kickin it's ass.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Rant

Did you know that whenever you are creating a medicine, you are putting love into every motion, every ingredient?  You are thinking about helping a loved one, friend,  or a client, to make them feel better.  You want this medicine to be good for them, and do good things for them.  All of that energy goes into the making of your medicine.  Very intimate.  I know I used to do the same with OTC's with my kids, willing it to make them better.  And I believe that went into their bodies too, but so much more would've gone in had I have made their medicines when they were younger.  I am upset at government and corporation because they took that option from me, made it so very difficult for me to find this information when my babies were younger.  No way would I every say replace modern medicine with herbal medicine ever, but they could've at least worked hand in hand with natural herbs, and let the stopper out on the flow of information drain.  Thanks alot for stealing those opportunities from me and my children.